One of the truths to which I have always subscribed to is the adage that the best social program is a job. It always thrills me to see the positive effect meaningful employment has on people, especially young people. That’s why one of my primary focuses in working with youth is to get them connected to a worthwhile, rewarding job that will hold their interest, offer growth and advancement and provide a sense of challenge and accomplishment.

Sometimes the job is full-time, sometimes it’s part-time, and occasionally it’ll be volunteer work. It all depends on the person, where they are in their growth, their needs and what they can handle. The important thing is to get them connected. It’s much more important to help them find a part-time job that is challenging and their needs are being met than a full-time job that is demeaning and/or unfulfilling. Employment is far more important than just a way to get a paycheck.

The key is to help them discover their dream, connect them with their passion. When a person is creating their dream, even the most meaningless tasks become worthwhile.

My dear friend Tara exemplifies this perfectly. When Tara was about seven years old, she was out working in her yard. According to her mother, she had been busy all day, collecting pieces of wood, pounding old nails, sawing and measuring. Her mother was impressed with the enthusiasm and focus her young daughter had maintained throughout the day, especially since most of what she was doing was monotonous activities.

Later that afternoon, after Tara had been hard at work for most of the day, some friends of her mother had stopped by. Soon everyone was watching Tara as she meticulously went about her work with excitement and focus. As they watched her, one of the guests asked Tara’s mother what she was up to. Her mother responded that she wasn’t exactly sure what she was doing but she had been busy building something all day.

About that time, Tara walked into the room, her eyes focused as she continued about her mission with zeal.

One of the other guests asked, Tara, what are you up to?

Tara looked at him, her young bright eyes glowing with excitement and joy, I am building my dream fort! she exclaimed.

What a difference. Tara wasn’t just collecting wood, pounding out nails and sawing. She was creating her dream.

The same is true for each of us. When we are connected to our dream, when we are passionate about what we are doing, no job is monotonous or boring. When we are building our dream forts, life is magical. Even when we are pounding out old nails from scrap pieces of wood, it is exciting and meaningful, because each nail brings us closer to our dream.

A great example of the power of this ability to change one’s life is beautifully exemplified in Perry’s story. I first met Perry one day when he came into the Center tweaked out on meth (under the influence of Methamphetamine). He was bouncing around the Center talking a mile a minute. I watched him for a few minutes, and then invited him to talk with me in my office.

We had a stilted but meaningful discussion. The primary purpose of which was so I could assess any health risks he presented to himself and to ensure there weren’t any dangers to his safety. He was having a hard time staying on task, but he was able to assure me he had a place to stay that night and his friends promised that they would take him there. I told him I wanted to talk with him when he was sober, and sent him on his way. I remember wondering if I would ever see him again.

A few days later he came back in the Center, sober, embarrassed and apologetic. He quietly approached me and asked if we could talk. Never wanting to miss an opportunity to build rapport, I quickly said yes.

Perry couldn’t have been more contrite. He sincerely apologized and told me how embarrassed and ashamed he was for his behavior. He promised he’d never come in the Center like that again. We shook hands and a friendship was created.

A few weeks later, I saw him on the street. He was in short pants, with no shirt, and no shoes in the middle of the winter. He was talking wildly about all kinds of paranoid thoughts.

I was worried for his health and safety, so I pulled over and asked him to get in my car. He hesitated, his meth induced mind creating all kinds of paranoid delusions. We spent several minutes as I reassured him I wasn’t with the police, FBI or DEA. Finally, I was able to get him to focus long enough to be able to remember who I was and that he knew me from the Center.

I soon learned he had been tweaking (being high on meth) for three days. He hadn’t had anything to eat or drink during that time. He was now coming down hard and fast off the high of the meth and was experiencing the hell that every meth user goes through when they are coming off it. Fortunately, his half nude traipse around town had only lasted a couple of hours. He was scared, disillusioned and depressed. (When a user is coming off meth it is not unlike a schizophrenic having a psychotic break. Their mind and thoughts are out of control and it scares the hell out of them.)

We drove to a restaurant close by. I tried to persuade him to eat, but because of the meth, he had no appetite. I was able to get him to drink some coffee to warm him up and rehydrate his exhausted body.

We sat there, drinking coffee and talking. Perry was trying hard to get his thoughts and emotions under control. He would do pretty well for a time and then break down into tears and delusional rantings. My goal was to just be with him, to figuratively hold his hand and try to help him through this. I’ve helped a number of kids come down off meth. To me, it’s the closest thing to hell for a person I can imagine.

We talked through a couple of hours and several coffee pots. Most of the conversation was around his confused, delusional and paranoid fears. However, there were a few moments when we seemed to be able to connect and have a better understanding for each other. As Perry was able to start gaining control over his thoughts and emotions, he asked me for a ride to a friend’s house. I drove him there, we said good night and I watched as he went into the house, wondering, as I often did, if I would ever see him again alive.

Several more weeks passed. I heard from some of the kids at the Center that Perry was still struggling with meth. Word on the street was that he was too embarrassed and ashamed to come in because he was tweaking so much. I continually tried to reach out to him through his friends to let him know that he was welcome to come in to the Center and that I was anxious to see him.

Then one morning when I arrived at the Center to open it for the day, Perry was waiting for me. He looked terrible. He was disheveled, gaunt, and filthy and it was evident that he’d been crying. Perry finally had hit rock bottom.
We went into my office and I listened while Perry opened his wounded heart and poured out the pain and struggle he had lived with through his childhood and his life on the streets.

I listened intently. The love and admiration I have for these kids goes deep. Once again, the power of their souls never ceases to amaze me. Here was a true Arnold. I felt honored to be able to work with him and support him in his growth and self-discovery.

We started talking about his passions and dreams. Two things were on the top of his list. First was his love for his sweetheart, Shelly. He deeply believed she was his soul mate and he loved her with all his heart. His second passion was commercial design. He had taken some design classes in high school and had found his passion. He had always hoped to go into Graphic Design in college but family problems interfered.

We focused on these two dreams; getting his life together so he could support Shelly and pursuing a career in Graphic Design. We also came to the realization that fulfilling his second dream would lay the foundation for the first.

I called a friend, who owned a graphic design studio, and asked for her help. She helped Perry put together a resume and gave him some job leads, one of which was the owner of a local sign company. Perry called him and it turned out that he had one opening for a part time janitor in a store that was about 40 minutes north of Salt Lake. The owner promised Perry that if my friend and I would vouch for him and if he showed initiative, he could receive training in design while he fulfilled his other duties.

Perry collected all his belongings, which he was able to load into one backpack, scrounged up the bus fare and headed north. He planned to stay in a shelter until he could afford an apartment. We shared a hug and Perry was off to pursue his dream.

I didn’t hear anything from him for about three months. Then I opened my mailbox to find a joy-filled card. It was an invitation for a housewarming party for Perry and Shelly. They had rented an apartment and wanted me to come up for a celebration with them. I was delighted.

However, there were more surprises yet to come. Within six months after starting as a janitor at the sign shop, Perry had worked his way to the position of assistant manager of the store.

It may be difficult for anyone to identify his or her dream career at first. One solution is to help them find what they are passionate about, whether it is a stereo system, a musical instrument, a car or a dream vacation. The possibilities are endless.

The importance of connecting people with their passion can perhaps be best demonstrated by an example from a program I co-created for adults with learning disabilities after leaving DCFS. These were people who had learning disabilities and described themselves as slow learners. They were very capable in many areas of their life, having difficulties only with more technical things like budgeting, balancing a bank account and meal planning; however, the fact that their intelligence wasn’t lower disqualified them for disability funds and/or programs. I loved working with these clients and became very close to them. One of the primary challenges these extraordinary men and women faced was finding the motivation and drive to do their best working at jobs that they really didn’t find that fulfilling. Because of their limitations with complex assignments, they worked mostly in the food and janitorial fields.

As these sensitive and caring individuals looked into their futures, they found it difficult to generate and maintain enthusiasm about spending the next 30-40 years cleaning toilets or asking would you like fries with that? By connecting with their dreams; however, they were able to find this motivation and drive.

Kathy, a 40-year-old woman who worked part time as a busser for a tearoom, was a good example of this. She loved the TV show, The Love Boat. For years, she had maintained the dream to take a cruise. However, her family didn’t feel it was feasible with the income she was making. We were able to help Kathy create a budget for herself that would cover her expenses and allow her to set aside $50 a month toward her dream, even though it would take 2 1/2 years for her to realize it. Nevertheless, Kathy wanted that cruise and she had the support she needed to keep her dream in focus.

For the next two years, Kathy would often walk into the office singing the theme song to The Love Boat. We helped her keep the dream fresh by sending away for brochures, hanging posters on her wall and having cruise parties whenever she reached milestones in her fund raising goals.

Because of the timing of seasons and inflation, it was nearly three years before Kathy was able to realize her dream. Nevertheless, realize it she did. Her sister agreed to go with her, and Kathy had the vacation shed always wanted. She took several rolls of pictures and came home with a lifetime full of memories.

With the thrill and momentum of this success, Kathy had the confidence to set a new goal; going to Ireland. This goal would take another 5 1/2 years to realize, but Kathy now knew that dreams can come true and she was more committed than ever to make this one a reality as well. I have no doubt that she celebrated the success of that goal too!
There is no limit to the magic that can occur when a powerful soul connects with their dream.

As I’ve said before, these youth survive conditions that would destroy the majority of us, just as a weight lifter’s workout would be too much for most of us. Nevertheless, when we can tap into that strength and power, and attach it to the magic of dreams, nothing is impossible.

Back to articles